Tips to Being My Friend: A Guide

Many of those who know me know that I’m not always the easiest person to understand, or even get along with, for that matter. Like anyone, I have my quirks. But in order to help any current and/or potential friends understand me a little better, here’s what I think to be a pretty thorough guide in the process.

1. Expect me to never share my food with you. That’s not to say I won’t share my food with you. Just don’t expect me to. I hate when people assume.

2. While we’re on the subject, I can usually always be bribed with food, most specifically, pizza. If there’s free pizza involved, count on me being there.

3. I don’t function properly before 10 AM and without coffee. Take special note of this one. I don’t care what you could possibly have going on. I’m not waking up early to do it.

4. This is a give-take-relationship. Mostly, the kind where you give me your food and I take it.

5. I only befriend people who are more physically unfit than I am. That way, when the zombie apocalypse comes, I can trip you.

6. FYI, I don’t cook and I’m not gonna learn. Just as I require my theoretical future husband to be able to cook, any friends must be able to do the same. Honestly, I can’t be expected to survive on my own.

7. Netflix marathons are a must. If you’re not capable of sitting on your a$$ for 8+ hours while blankly staring at the TV, I suggest you back out now.

8. Understand, my dog, Lily, is an excellent judge of character. If she doesn’t like you, I certainly expect I won’t like you either. Additionally, any potential friends are required to like, nay, love Lily. She is my ultimate bestie.

9. I hate wearing pants. Consequently, I can’t always be expected to wear them. I frequently walk around the house in nothing but underwear and a t-shirt. I feel it’s only fair to give this disclosure.

10. I am a huge nerd. I have no problem admitting that I’ve seen and/or read LOTR, Harry Potter, and StarWars. For your own good, it’s best if you understand any and all references to these sagas. Otherwise, it will be ugly.

11. You must be willing to look less attractive than me (girls, specifically) in the presence of hot men, for reasons I don’t need to explain. This is possibly the most important rule of all.

12. Again, if you’re a girl, it helps if you wear the same size in clothes as I do. Sometimes, a girl needs a little help outside her own wardrobe.

13. When you are baking (cookies, brownies, cakes, etc.) always plan on giving me first dibs of the mixing bowl and spoon. This is non-negotiable.

14. Two-for-one deal on food? My opinion is necessary.

15. I’m probably always poor. Plan on spending most weekends at home in front of the TV, where I don’t have to spend what little money I have.

16. Accept that it’s very possible your parents (especially your mom) will come to love me more than she loves you. It’s nothing to be ashamed of. I can be very charming.

17. You must be willing to keep any secrets I tell you, even if that secret is that I secretly like T-Swift’s music… What? She’s catchy!

18. Doing laundry? Throw some of my stuff in there with it!

19. I am in complete, irrevocable love with Robert Downey Jr. Not only must you encourage this obsession, but you must also plan for the day when I do finally meet him. On that day, I will need one heck of a wingman/woman. Plan on being up for the job.

20. You are not allowed to have big news or special occasions on the same days that I have big news or a special occasions. Your birthday is on February 23rd too? Change it.

21. A true friend must be willing to kill zombies with me, both in real life and fiction.

22. I love a good horror movie. Unfortunately, they’re not much fun to watch when you’re by yourself. Insert yourself into this situation.

23. I will openly admit that I consider social media creeping as a favorite hobby. If you’re not willing to creep on someone with me via social media, I don’t see this working.

24. I regularly enjoy Gossip Girl marathons. Anyone who doesn’t get as emotionally invested in the fictional lives of Blair and Serena doesn’t belong in my life.

25. Above all, understand that though this must seem like a high list of demands, this friendship with me does go both ways. Naturally, what kind of friend would I be if I didn’t offer the same things to any of my friends that I asked in return? Though I may be highly demanding at times, I would also do anything for my friends. A friendship with me is a lifetime commitment.

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A Plea for Mercy: A True Story

Here’s my sob story:

A couple of weeks ago, my *awesome* roommate decided to get rid of our cable without asking for my input first. This happened literally two days before The Walking Dead midseason premiere.
After a very emotional phone call to my mother–I mean, what’s a gal to do when she has no access to her very favorite show?–we determined that I would be able to still watch TWD via an app offered by Dish.(Holla at Mom and Dad for sharing, btw.) Alas! Crisis averted! Right???

Not!

So here I am, trying to watch the one thing that makes my week a little brighter amidst an otherwise dreary life of someone always wanting my money or mundane quibbles with small-minded people, only for it to keep freezing and buffering ever two seconds–when I can even get the thing to actually load.
I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve this.

Maybe it’s karma for all those pieces of gum I took from mom’s purse growing up. Maybe it’s for making a mockery out of dad and calling him a doughboy. Maybe it’s for making fun of my grandma that one time when she mistakenly said “thug down” instead of “turn down.” Or for listening to that one T-Swift song on the radio before secretly buying it on iTunes to enjoy it in private without being judged. Or maybe it’s for all those times I’ve judged someone based on their inability to speak or spell proper English.
Whatever it is I’ve done, I would like to verbally and publicly repent every slightly-wrong-deed I’ve ever committed. I’m sorry. I really, honestly and truly am.

All I want at this point in my life is to watch zombies eat people and Daryl Dixon kill them with his crossbow. Is that too much to ask?

*Hangs head and sobs in anguished despair.*

Ask and Thou Shall Receive

I come bearing exciting news–at least for me.

Recently, it has been brought to my attention that, much to my great humiliation, my first novel The Guardians contains a great deal of typos. For shame.

I just wanted to let all my readers know that your comments have been taken into serious consideration, and after a pitiful email to my wonderful publishers, have received the green light to take a trip to the past and make the necessary corrections to my firstborn child.

Despite the tedious edits and time spent during my first time around, mistakes still managed to slip through the cracks, for which I am truly sorry. After all, I am a writer, and a perfectionist at that, and am just as exasperated by this event as anyone else.

The good news, however, is that I am set on fixing any mistakes I have made. Starting today, I will be pulling out the original post-manuscript and taking the red pen to it (figuratively). I hope to be done with this within the next week or so, and will update everyone as soon as I send it back in to the big guys in charge.

Once again, I would like to apologize to everyone. You guys take time out of your lives to read my writing, and for that, it should be nothing less than perfect.

Thank you to everyone who has brought this to my attention, and to those who continue to show their support to TLR books.

XOXO
K.L.

The Answers To All Your Questions….

Hey all!

I know it’s been some time since my last post, but I feel I owe it to all my readers to let everyone know what’s going on with me and my books!

Where have you been, K.L.???
For starters, I haven’t posted in forever because I really am pressed for time these days, even as I’m writing this sentence. Recently, I had a very big move (all the way from Texas to Alabama), and am now in the middle of my junior year at Auburn (War Eagle!). So anyway, big move=no time for anything and the same goes for the multiple literature classes I’m now taking, which all involve a lot of reading and even more writing (and not even the fun stuff!). Because of this excessive amount of writing research papers about other pretentious stuff, writing for fun has been (dare I say?) difficult lately. But I promise, I am still writing, if only a little at a time.

A big thanks!!!
Before I continue, I would live to give a humongous thank you to everyone for your kind words–seriously, it means the world to me!–and say that YOU GUYS are the reason I love this job. This has definitely not been the easiest of careers to follow–maddening at times–but y’all make it worth my while.

So what’s up with TLR series???
Ok, so, enough with the sappy crap. Many of you have messaged me over the past several weeks in regards to The Apprentice and the future of TLR series. DO NOT FRET. It’s not over until the fat lady sings! …please take no offense to that, just an expression! Anyway, this is my promise to you guys that I still have plenty to write about Evin’s journey, though whether Emma will or will not return I still cannot confirm. I just wanted to assure everyone that there is a story left to be told, but if my news about Emma only served to make you sadder, then, well, job well done on my part.

So when’s the next book supposed to come out???
Probably the most asked question, as of late. To that I can give no definite answer. As I said, being a full-time student who’s currently on the prowl for a part-time job (unfortunately, writing doesn’t exactly pay the bills ): ) it’s extremely hard to be able to write whenever I want. In short, I very much hope to have the fourth book done by next year, but again, no promises. I can promise, however, to keep everyone updated throughout the journey.

Anything in the works in the meantime???
Ah, yes. The other reason why TLR has been put on the back burner for the time being. Those of you who read my most recent book know how much darker it was in tone compared to its companion books. Of course, that was intentional, as I felt I really needed to give this particular book a little more than what anyone had seen so far. Unfortunately, the darkness of this book did make it mentally harder to write than the other two. There was a lot going on in the 500 something pages, a lot of planning involved! Because of this, I felt I needed to start work on something else, something drastically different, before resuming my work on TLR series. Because I would hate to give anyone anything less than my best! Rest assured, that though I cannot say anything else, there are other things in the works, which I am sure you guys will enjoy just as much as TLR series!

Closing words
In short, I just wanted to let everyone know that I’m not dead–very much alive, in fact–and that yes, I do have loads more books planned. Again, when these so-called books will make an appearance is hard to say. I live a busy, if not boring, life. But they are coming! Again, thank you guys so, so much for your words of loveliness and encouragement! It gives me the drive I need to keep up the hard work! Stay strong, my lovelies!

Much love to all,
K.L. ❤